"Tough Olympic
news for the Romneys. Ann Romney's horse Rafalka did not advance to the Olympic
finals. Apparently it was beat by a smooth-talking socialist horse from
Kenya." –Conan O'Brien
"Romney's
Olympic horse is named Rafalco. She said I needed a silly name that no one's
ever heard of before and Mitt was taken." –Conan O'Brien
"Big story at
the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for
the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other
model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?" –Conan
O'Brien
"I think the
scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the
gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant
for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court." –Craig
Ferguson
"Mitt Romney is
claiming he’s going to create 12 million jobs in his first term. But he hasn’t
said yet if he’ll create them in China or India.” –Conan O'Brien
"A former U.S.
Olympic swimmer in an interview said that nearly all elite competitive swimmers
pee in the pool regularly. So apparently I am an elite competitive
swimmer." –Conan O'Brien
"An American
judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for
marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the match and
saying, 'What are we fighting for, man?'" –Conan O'Brien
“I would like to
congratulate the team at NASA’s jet propulsion lab. You deserve every missed
high five of your celebration.” –Stephen Colbert
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